Beneath the Surface

( Click here to read these important reminders/rules (Updated on May 14, 2007). )

One of my aunts (from my mother's side) came over to see me a few days ago, and she gave me this new laptop. I was surprised, because I don't recall telling any of my other relatives where I currently lived. Only my grandfather knew where I live, since he was the one generously providing me with the money to pay the rent and bills. Since he passed away, his savings and assets will be passed on to me when I turn 21, since I'm next in line in our family tree (my dad was an only child). My school tuition still comes from the money Mifuyu-'nēsan set aside for my education.

At first I didn't want to take the laptop, but my aunt insisted and was on the verge of tears already that I had to say yes. She says that she's sorry for not taking care of me, that it took her too long to realize how she and my other relatives neglected me, and that I could call her if I needed anything. I thanked her and said that I've survived the past few years on my own, and that she shouldn't fuss over me.

I'm honestly not fond of my relatives from either side of the family, since they left 'Nēsan and I to fend for ourselves despite the fact that they were - and still are - rich enough to buy themselves large houses and expensive things. Yeah, sure, some of them tried to take us in, but it never really lasted long because their generosity was insincere. I know what they think; they think my father was a drunkard and that it was his fault that he and my mother died in that car accident ten years ago. That's complete and utter bullshit; my father would never even touch a bottle of wine unless there was some fancy social event wherein it would look rude if you didn't drink your wine. I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually sabotaged the car so that they would crash. 'Nēsan said she would have hired someone to investigate the matter more thoroughly, but we didn't have enough money to pay for it.

As for the aunt that gave me the new laptop...well, even though I'm feeling a bit queasy about this whole suddenly-being-nicer-to-orphaned-nephew business, I am grateful for her gift. If both her tears and her promise to be there for me when I need her were sincere, I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive her.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for today. I have to do a bit of research for a paper, and I've wasted enough time already.

After putting off posting things here for months, here I am again. A lot of things have happened, and I'm not sure if I'll remember to enumerate them all. Additionally, I'm currently very tired and feeling a bit under the weather.

The good news is that the new schoolyear already began last month, and I still haven't moved away.

In other words, I made it into the University of Tokyo.

I won't write a lengthy speech about how I - and everyone else - reacted to me getting in, but I will say that it involved a lot of screeching, laughing, crying, jumping, glomping, hand-shaking, celebration, and general insanity.

College is pretty hectic, which is pretty much why I haven't been posting anything at all as of late. Studying is pretty much my priority at the moment, so everything else has been put on hold. I do get to see my friends occasionally, but not as often as I used to. They're all surprisingly considerate of my not having a lot of free time anymore, but that's probably because they're pretty much busy with senior year too. Fuuko's been bullying everyone into studying so that they could "follow in Mi-chan's footsteps," but I told them all not to push it just because they want to be with me in college. It's not easy to do what I do, and I'm sure that Domon and Recca are both getting pretty sick of studying already.

Additionally, I remember Domon telling me that he wanted to stop studying and to just help out around their flower shop. Aoi was scolding Domon about it last week, saying that she could take care of the shop while Domon was at school, "education is very important", that sort of thing.

Now that I've mentioned Aoi...I admit that she is nice despite the fact that I still felt a bit uneasy around her at first. I guess sometimes people just need to have good friends in order to live a normal, happy life. Aoi was...disturbed when we first encountered her, but she's become a very cheerful and friendly person after the entire SODOM incident was over...the cross-dressing kind of gives me the creeps though. Sometimes I don't know whether to refer to Aoi as a him or a her, but I often opt for the latter because he looks more feminine than masculine. I find it amusing that she actually sort of serves as a reminder to us all that we often forget to value every aspect of our mundane lives and just complain day-in and day-out. I guess it's because she never really had a shot at living a normal life until now.

Speaking of old acquaintances, I think I saw Raiha at the train station just the other day, though I could have easily mistaken someone else for him since I never really got to talk to the guy much. And the train was already moving when I spotted him inside it (I had just arrived and had to wait for the next train).

I didn't tell anyone else that I saw Raiha though. I think a certain somebody obviously harbored feelings for him at some point in time, though she won't readily admit it. Maybe I'm wrong about her, but then maybe she's just denying it or hasn't even realized how she felt about him. She's in a bit of a rough patch with her current relationship as it is, I wouldn't want to make it any worse.

At any rate, I should be getting some shut-eye now. Perhaps I'll post some more within the week, if I have the time.

Everyone's been really tense lately. It's funny how we're more tense about my college entrance exams as compared to when threats like Mori Kouran or his idiotic minions reared their ugly heads.

Wait, we? I'm the only one who's taking the exams here, what are they being tense for?

Seriously, everyone's been so fussy about me that it's really aggravating. "Did you get to study yesterday, Mi-chan?" "Here Mikagami-senpai, I made you some peanut butter cookies because I hear peanuts help you study!" "Good luck Mii-bou, you'll need  it, HAHAHAHA!" ARGH. Would everyone just please SHUT UP and let me study?!

Yes, this is me, actually being all nervous because of entrance exams. Mikagami Tokiya. Nervous. That doesn't seem right. But I guess that comes with being a normal high school student, doesn't it? Revenge used to be my only reason to live, but now that I have other matters to worry about, I admit that it's become a bit hard for me to adjust. Thankfully, my studies haven't been affected by it, but still. Everyone I know is aiming for the University of Tokyo, so that increases the number of competitors for the limited slots, and increases the chances of me not getting in there. I do have other options, but the University of Tokyo is top priority.

Breathe, Mikagami. Breathe. Just study at home and go to cram school regularly. You'll be fine.

....great. I was supposed to type about New Year's, but I lost track of what I was going to say. I'll post about it on a later date. When I'm a little less tense, I mean. Tch.

Last I checked, Christmas is supposed to be a commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, not a commercialized festival wherein people are expected to have "someone special" to spend Christmas Eve with. I mean, yeah, I know most of us aren't Christian (myself included), but still, I don't think it's right to just have celebrities, TV shows, and shops pimp it, and then use it as an excuse to hook up and go on dates. It's just wrong.

Yes, in case you haven't noticed, I'm back to my old crabby self again...primarily because I've been seriously getting peeved by everyone asking me if I have anybody to spend Christmas Eve with. "But Recca has Yanagi and Domon has Fuuko..." "So when are you getting a girlfriend, Mikagami?" Well you can't really predict when someone's going to come along and knock you clear off your feet, now can you? I'm so damn sick of people requiring me to have a girlfriend just because I'm the only single person in our group. Please. I'm grumpy enough on normal days, so why can't people at least try not to get on my nerves on holidays and other special occassions?

An additional source of aggravation for me this month is the fact some of my schoolmates think I'm gay. I have absolutely nothing against homosexuals personally, but I do have but one thing to say to those who spread that rumor about me and those who actually believe it: Go find somewhere private so you can fuck yourselves, because I'm not going to plug your damned buttholes for you.

I honestly don't know what's worse; having fighters and spectators screaming that you're a girly man and that "real men shave their head" during a fighting/killing tournament, or to have some idiotic peers from school spreading rumors behind your back. At least in the Ura Butou Satsujin, they were afraid of me because they knew I could kill them if I wanted to, but I can't make those kind of threats in school, can I? ...but then again, I did scare one of those dolts when he made the mistake of taunting my manhood at a cafe outside our school by throwing a knife in his general direction. On a sidenote, I'm pleased to say that my strength hasn't deteriorated as much as I expected it to over the past year without Hyomon Ken training: What I threw at him was a breadknife, but the force of my throw made it stick to the wooden beam beside the moron's head.

Of course, I pulled up the collar of my jacket and rushed out of the cafe before anyone noticed just what the hell I did. I was afraid that this guy make a scene or something, but I think he was too shocked to do anything. The good news is, he never showed his face to me again, and he never said anything about me anymore. I do catch a glimpse of him in the corridor from time to time, but it's usually for a second or less, because he runs away when he sees me. Heh.

Fuuko actually beat the living daylights out of one of her acquaintances who insisted that I was gay, but that just worsened the situation because now they say that Fuuko's more masculine than I am. So thanks Fuuko, for standing up for me and for making the situation worse. Thanks a lot. I wish she'd have just pointed the guy out to me and left the beating-up-the-moron bit to me. It's been a while since I've been in a fistfight afterall...heh. Yes, watch Mikagami turn into a warfreak come Christmas season. That isn't a very Christmas-y thing now, is it?

This will be the first and last time that you will see me turn into a sentimental sap. I blame it on the alcohol.

( This is going to be long. Are you sure you want to proceed? )

November. I hate this month. Apart from Culture Day (which I have successfully avoided AGAIN), there's another particular day coming up that I'm not too happy about. I have less than a week to plan my escape before the zoo animals come and get me.

Wow. It's been a year since I've first started posting in this journal. Heh.

Additionally, my hair's length is about two inches below my ears now. No, not the type of haircut that one might see in your average pretty boys (i.e. the ones that girls love to watch as they run their hands through their hair like it's the coolest gesture ever); it's a bit shaggier than that. Bah. I won't bother explaining it anymore. And NO, I refuse to post pictures.

I actually wanted my hair to be cut really short, so I won't have to worry about it anymore, bhe people at the parlor were hesitant about cutting my hair really short for fear of traumatizing me (yeah, whatever). But then again, maybe this is a better way to go about it. I admit it was a bit of a shock when I noticed how much hair was on the floor after the barber was done with me, so what more if I had my hair cut any shorter?

I was expecting the zoo animals to tease me about it nonstop, but all I got was approving nods from the gorilla and the sea-monkey, while I got squeals and giggles from Yanagi and the monkey.

So there we are. I guess my hair won good reactions over-all, but I seem to have noticed some guys giving me dagger looks and holding their girls in what they probably think is a protective gesture (I say "what they probably think" because the girls look more distressed than anything else). What, does my new hair make me look like a playboy? Feh.

I just realized that I mentioned something about getting a haircut in one of my earlier entries. I'm actually still wondering if I should do it, or keep my hair long for old times' sake. There are actually more pros to cutting my hair than cons, but I'm still having a rough time deciding.

I mean, if you've had your hair long for most of your life, it's kind of hard to even think about cutting it...but that's in the case of normal people. And I don't think I'm ever going to consider myself 'normal'.

The main reason why my hair is long is because I swore to avenge my sister's death. I remember reading a book mentioning something about that sort of tradition when I was training under Meguri Kyōza, when I was still an impressionable little boy. I told my master about it, and he didn't really mind, and said that I could do whatever I wanted with my hair.

Not that I was worried that he wouldn't approve; I was just worried he might get jealous. After all, he had no hair on top of his head. Seriously, not a single strand on it.

Has my sister's death been avenged? Not quite. There was no need to do so anyway, for reasons that I will not discuss any further publicly.

Which reminds me that I never did tell the others what happened during that incident in SODOM...mostly because they never asked. I find it strange that I felt a little bit upset that no one ever did. Although I may rant about them most of the time, I do admit that I've become attached to the twits. They're the only friends I've ever had, and I can't say that I don't even have the slightest bit of affection for them.

...

Uh. Yeah. I think I have to go wash my hair now.

So I haven't been updating as of late. I really didn't feel like it at all, actually. Perhaps my getting an LJ wasn't such a good idea.

...

Then again, I need my occassional dose of ranting and blabbering. I don't really have anyone to talk to anyway, do I?

I haven't been doing much lately. I've been out sightseeing by myself lately, just for a change of scenery.

As I've mentioned eons ago, I went on a date with Sato-san. Everything was fine and dandy until she started gushing about Gackt like there was no tomorrow. I think it was because one of his songs was playing on the radio in a store that we walked into. Mind you, it's not that I dislike the guy, some of his music's actually good, but to switch to fangirl mode in the middle of a date isn't very polite. I let it slide, hoping that she would stop...and she did, eventually. Then she began babbling about Puffy Ami-Yumi, and that was when I hastily muttered an excuse (somewhere along the lines of "I have to wash my hair," or something to that effect) and left. So much for a first date.

Speaking of dates, Fuuko and Domon are dating. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. I guess Fuuko started feeling sorry for the big gorilla and decided to give him a chance. Can't say much about it since I never really ask how it's going, but both of them seem to be acting their age lately. Maybe it's not such a bad pairing after all.

So. Everyone in our little circle of friends is dating...everyone except me, heh. I don't think I'll ever find a girl that I'd actually really love. The closest thing I've had to that was how I felt about Yanagi-san, but no, those feelings are long gone.

And now that I think about it, it was kind of incestuous of me to actually like her in that way. That's one of the very few things that have successfully made me feel disgusted with myself.

My neighbor (who still insists on calling me "Mika-chan", damn her) says that I'm too stiff and I should find a girl who'll loosen me up. She keeps on telling me that she can fix me up with a "hostess" who can do me right, but that's just GROSS. I mean, a teenager dating a hostess? My being mature for my age isn't enough to justify that sort of behavior.

Wait a minute, why am I suddenly babbling about relationships? I think I may have lost my marbles.

No, I'm not gay. Never was, never will be. I've had my share of crushes (inclusive of Yanagi), and yes, sometimes the way I talk to girls callously or indifferently is actually my way of flirting. No, I've never worn lipstick in my entire life. I'm not a transvestite, nor am I crossdresser, nor a wannabe goth, nor a wannabe Visual Kei/JRock star. I don't see the point in men wearing make-up, that's just disgusting. I may have long hair and slightly feminine features, but that doesn't automatically mean I'm gay.

No, I certainly was not admitting that I was gay when I told Mikoto that I'm not a feminist. I was merely pointing out that I'm not a firm believer in feminism, because that's just like chauvinism, only more beneficial to women. I believe in equality; and yes, men can punch women IF THEY DESERVE IT, and Mikoto certainly deserved to be punched. I ought to have killed her and her stupid maniac of a boyfriend, but for some reason, I felt sorry for the two saps...probably because my brain has been poisoned by being around too many goody-two-shoes. Tsk.

Yes, I may have been the only one who didn't nosebleed at the sight of Fuuko's half-naked body, but I can't deny the fact that she DOES look quite attractive...sexy, even (again, if Fuuko reads this, she will most probably pull my intestines out of my mouth with her bare hands).

Yes, I may have been girly around a year ago, but I don't look/act too girly now, do I? It's not my fault if my characteristics were still a little shaky then, but people grow up and change as time goes by.

It's funny how your so-called friends end up crashing into your apartment almost every single damned day just because you're the only person in the gang who doesn't have any parents around to fuss over you, isn't it?

As I've mentioned, Fuuko came around on the 19th to ask me to go with them to a karaoke bar. I said no thank you and shooed her out of my apartment. She was surprisingly cooperative. I think she was just asking me as a formality; even I know I'd suck the fun out of karaoke.

Domon came around a few days back to ask me who the "pretty drunk lady in the black lingerie" is next door, but I told him to fuck off before I call Fuuko up and tell her that he wanted to sleep with my neighbor and slammed the door in his face. I think I hit his face pretty hard; when I opened the door to check if he was gone, he was flat on his back on the floor with a bleeding nose and a red forehead.

Recca and Yanagi visited just yesterday, and were inviting me to the amusement park where Recca and I had our first battle. They said they wanted to go there as friends now, and not as enemies. Yeah, whatever. I turned that down too. I said I had to wash my hair. They fools seemed to buy it. No offense to Yanagi there; but you have to admit, the girl IS kind of slow.

Speaking of hair, I think I'm going to go get a haircut sometime within the week. I know it'll get me weird stares from everyone, but hey, I'm not the type who cares what other people think. I made a vow ages ago, and I swore that I would never cut my hair until I've fulfilled it. Now that everything's over and done with, I think that it's time to cut it already.

But first - would you believe I'm going out on a date tonight? Heh. I can barely believe it myself. I decided to go on and ask Sato (yes, I'm sure that that's her last name) out. She dropped her phone in surprise when I called her to ask, but she said yes. I think going out more is a nice change of atmosphere...and at least that way I won't be home when the gang decides to call on me.

If they decide to bother me during my date though, I can promise that they WILL die, regardless of the fact that I no longer have Ensui with me and that Domon's nearly twice my size.

I kind of figured I wouldn't really have the patience for this sort of thing. After around a month or so of blogging, I stopped because it was boring me. Haha.

Anyway. Classes ended last week. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, since I WON'T get to see much of the Zoo (i.e. Domon the gorilla, Fuuko the monkey, and Recca the sea monkey), BUT I wouldn't put it past them to barge right over to MY place to bug me.

Tsk. I guess I'd better go monkey-proof my door. Then again, if I ask my drunkard of a neighbor to hang out outside her door with nothing but her black lingerie on, I guess that'd be enough of a distraction for the two male palookas. My only problem then would be Fuuko, who's probably more likely to beat the tar out of me than Domon and Recca combined.

Speaking of Fuuko, I think that's her banging on my door and shouting "MI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!" right now.

I hate playing zoo keeper / baby sitter. Oh well. I'd better open the door before the neighbors start calling the cops.

Domon accidentally told me that they have a surprise planned for me on the 13th (Fuuko gave him a sound beating for it afterward) during lunch break today. Yanagi-san decided to go on and tell me that they wanted to take me out on a picnic in the late afternoon, and that Recca and his dad had prepared some special fireworks for us to view afterward. I shrugged and said "Why not?", and received dumbfounded looks all around in return.

What's the occasion, you ask?

It's my birthday on the 13th.

Well don't expect me to get all perky about it. It's just the way I am.

So I've been in school again these past few days. I was surprised when my classmates actually noticed I was gone. They were even asking me if I had gotten sick, or if something unfortunate happened and such. Funny how concerned they are, especially since I never really spoke to them much. I haven't even memorized their names yet, for crying out loud.


Which would probably explain why one of them (last name Sato, I think...or Saito) was stunned when I actually thanked her when she gave me a copy of her notes of the lessons I missed. Actually, she did this for me a few weeks ago too, after yet another extended absence. I thanked her then too, and she gawked at me for a few seconds...then Fuuko came barging in with a harisen and smacked me on the head with it.

Anyway, some of my male classmates were coaxing me (very timidly, I might add...still not used to me being nicer than usual, probably) to ask Sato/Saito-san out, and surprisingly, I actually found myself considering it.

Has life suddenly gotten so dull that I'm actually thinking about going out on a date with someone I barely even know? Erk. I hope Fuuko doesn't get to read this journal, otherwise I'd never hear the end of it.

I never knew that gorillas snored so loudly in their sleep.

This morning, I woke up to the sound of Miss Constantly-Suffering-from-Hang-Overs knocking on my door, asking for her usual bottle of mineral water. And I was planning on sleeping in because I'M DAMNED TIRED. I don't get what that woman has against tap water, it IS purified after all...and quite unfortunately for me, I'm the only one in the building who has a decent supply of mineral water. I used to have a huge stash of mineral water in my kitchen, but I have no need for that nowadays.

If being woken up by a groggy woman suffering from severe hang-over and wearing only black-lace lingerie and stockings wasn't enough of a wake-up call, Domon stormed into my apartment WITH HIS FILTHY SHOES ON demanding that I hide him from Fuuko, whom he was supposed to be taking detention with. It's strange how that guy goes about trying to get Fuuko to go out with him. I could do a better job at asking her out with my eyes shut and my hands tied behind my back, and that's pretty impressive considering the fact that Fuuko thinks I'm a walking punching bag.

Thank god for my high grades and "loving" teachers (i.e. people who want pimp me into a good university and take all the credit for recommending me), otherwise I'd be taking detention with the rest of them. And unlike Domon, I'd probably be decent enough to actually show up, especially when a woman [with the strength of twenty gorillas and the temper of fifty rabid wolverines] is threatening to kill me if I don't.

It's strange how the destruction of Ensui and the rest of the madougu hasn't really affected anyone as much as I expected. I guess everyone's thinking the same thing I am: It's FINALLY over, all the fighting, all the hardships...and we'll never see Mori Kouran's ugly face ever again, thank GOD.

But everyone's having a hard time getting used to being "normal" again. Yanagi-san still occasionally tries to heal Recca's wounds (inflicted by either his clumsiness, or Domon, or both) even though she no longer has her healing powers, and Domon is still known to attempt to lift objects that he's unable to lift without the aid of Dosei no Wa. I occassionally put my hand in my pocket to grasp Ensui, but end up with my hand wrapped around my handkerchief or mobile phone instead.

I can't say that I don't feel awkward about not having Ensui anymore, but its loss hasn't made me depressed or anything. I know it was a family heirloom, and the only item I had to remember my family by, but I know now that I don't really need Ensui to remember. I don't need to fight for revenge anymore, nor do I have to fight at all. The only battles I face now are my upcoming college entrance examinations...and Fuuko's constant need to barge in on me with a huge paper fan or some similar object to smack me on the head with on the most untimely occasions (i.e. when I'm studying in the library).

Didn't go to school today. I'm avoiding teachers who want me to join in on debates and read from English passages and generally show off that I'm one of the school's best "products". That just makes me sick to the stomach.

So what does a Hyomon Ken Master-turned-normal-high-school-kid do with his life?

Apparently, he types up entries in a LiveJournal.

Funny. Never thought it'd end up like this.

No, there will be no entries with accounts of new fighting techniques acquired through training, nor will there be any posts about grueling battles wherein a new scar or two has been added to the fine collection I already have all over my body. This will be your average LJ maintained by your average teenager.

If you're looking for excitement, click on that tiny little X in the upper right corner of your screen.






Now if you're still here after reading that discouraging intro, then you must either be really BORED, or you're just really interested in what I have to say.